I’ve got sand in the crack of my ass.  I’ve got fucking sand everywhere.  Shouldn’t have slept on the beach.  I blame Isaac Newton.Why him?I blame Newton for gravity.  Einstein for nuclear bombs.  Pascal for religion.  My religion, anyway.My point is, if I hadn’t fallen down drunk on the beach, I wouldn’t have slept there.  […]

Hey! Hey man! I threw my head to the left. The sound seemed to be coming from the left. –You ok?
-Cllumm occcey.
-Hey! It was Russell. Not Russ. Never Russ. Russell.
-Gai sahhh wa. Wa ou aaa? What the hell was wrong with him? Didn’t he […]

When the car pulled up to the curb and jerked to a halt I slid in the passenger seat and closed the door.
“You’d better buckle up.” He said. “You don’t need a ticket ten feet out of jail.” He watched me wave my hand at him and he drove on. I put […]

“Come on baby, let’s just get a bottle of wine and go home.  We don’t need this shit.”  At least I didn’t.  I lit a smoke and leaned my head back.  Closed my eyes.
“These are friends of mine, Mike.  I’ve already told them we were coming.”  She shut off the engine and unbuckled her seatbelt.
“They’ll […]

My neighbor came by again last night. Sat down and lit a cigarette. His girlfriend wouldn’t let him smoke in his apartment so he came over here to do it. Like I said, he got me high most of the time, so I didn’t mind. He was pretty cool anyway.
So when […]

“You ever had a woman lick your asshole?” I asked him.
“What?” His eyes went bug wide.
“You know, a rim job?”
“No. No. That’s disgusting. Fuck no.” He shuddered for effect and sipped his beer.
“That’s not disgusting. Disgusting is kissing her after.” I laughed and lit a smoke.
“So how do […]

“You can’t smoke back here.” It was my boss.
“No one ever comes back here, man, except you, and you only come back here to see if I’m smoking.” I took a load of dishes out of the machine, set it on the rack, and loaded up another one. “If you just stop […]

I stopped in the first bar I came to. Sue’s. Shit. There wasn’t anything wrong with the bar really, it just meant that I’d been walking in the wrong direction. Oh well, I still needed a drink no matter where I was headed.
Now the thing about this joint was it had […]