“You ever had a woman lick your asshole?” I asked him.

“What?” His eyes went bug wide.

“You know, a rim job?”

“No. No. That’s disgusting. Fuck no.” He shuddered for effect and sipped his beer.

“That’s not disgusting. Disgusting is kissing her after.” I laughed and lit a smoke.

“So how do you not kiss a girl after she does something like that? Seems to me she’d be expecting it.”

“Easy. I just open up the car door and push her out.”

“Man, you are such an asshole.”

“Yea, well you can lick me.”

“Walked right into that one.”

We were headed out to my car at the end of the night. For anyone who doesn’t know, the end of the night is four in the morning. Ok, three fifty-nine. Four starts the morning. I never did cotton too much to that whole a.m./p.m. bullshit. Or daytime/nighttime either. You want to divide the day in two? How about open bar/closed bar? Of course that makes it a little lopsided, but fuck it.

I dropped him off and headed back downtown. The hookers were just headed home and I was hoping to find one who’d had a bad night.

“Hey, baby.” She looked worn out and run down. Mascara running just a little and that ass just shaking. “Want to make fifty bucks?” I asked her.

“You know I do. What do you want for it?” She leaned into my car and I could smell lotion and spunk. Perfect.

“Just a little time…”

She was on my couch. I threw the curtains closed and turned on the lights.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Put your arm up a little… good. Now move your leg? Right there. Hold that.” I took a few pictures.

“Great. Now turn to the left a little.” A few more pictures.

“You sure you don’t want me to get naked?” She looked a little confused. I bet she always had that look if she wasn’t sucking dick.

“No way, baby. You’re perfect.”

I took a few rolls and walked her to the door.

“So what are you gonna do with those?”

“Call ‘em art, sell ‘em for a thousand each, and do more blow in a month that Freud did in his life.” I lit a smoke.

“Well, that hardly se…” I slammed the door in her face and got a beer.

I didn’t have time for her shit. I had an opening in a week. I was going to make it big time.

I’m calling the show “After the Rim Job”.